Dear 21 year-old me, happy birthday! This is you from the future, about to drop a few gems of wisdom for ya. And believe me (yourself?) – you’ll want to pay attention.
Believe it or not, during these last 14 years you haven’t become a millionaire (not that you really wanted that anyway), you didn’t get married (thank goodness), and aren’t a rock star (although you know a few). Shocker, I know.
But even more of a shocker, I’m coming at you live from Salt Lake City, Utah. That’s right, UTAH. The place you swore you’d never live.
Don’t give me that attitude.
You were never really good at hiding your emotions (and sorry to say, you still wear your emotions on your sleeve).
But believe me, this is where you were meant to be for the last decade.
Gulp. Decade. Wow.
Dear 21 year-old me: remember when you asked mom how life could get much better after high school? And she told you how amazing college was, what freedom felt like, and how you hadn’t even begun to reach your full potential?
She’s right. You’re about to start your senior year in college and thinking about becoming a teacher. Thinking about where you’ll settle down and plant your roots. Hold on with both hands.
Your 20s are going to be amazing. Your 30s? Even better.
You’re going to realize a lifelong dream.
You’re going to start a new life in a new timezone.
You’re going to spend many mornings waking up on the other side of the world.
You’re going to have your heart broken, your feelings trampled on by those you hold dear, and start to break the mold.
But you’re resilient. You adapt and overcome. You believe in living in a constant state of progression. And you pay attention to everything around you.
Dear 21 year-old me: now is the time to really pay attention.
Here are 14 little nuggets that you’ve learned in the last 14 years…
#1 Don’t settle. You’re going to reach some amazing milestones in your next 14 years, but keep striving. It will seem crazy to some people that you will want to keep learning, keep progressing, keep pushing forward with your life. Just because you achieve something, like a college degree, doesn’t mean you’re “done” and need to settle down and slide into an “acceptable” routine.
#2 Trust yourself and your intuition. You’ve always been able to read between the lines of situations, people, and you’re going to get even better at it.
#3 Don’t be ashamed to have adventures – they come in all shapes and sizes, and your adventures will look different than everyone else’s. How many of your friends have painted a barn on a river? Played football in sand dunes? Been a human zamboni in the dead of winter? Weren’t those fun? There’s more to come.
#4 Don’t waste your time creating a 5-year plan, no matter how many people tell you that you need one: parents, boss, friends. Rigid plans cause too much stress and having a set out plan for your life infers that the life you’re living isn’t good enough. You will change every year. Your dreams will change, you will evolve. But on the flip side, learn the power of having goals. Goals give your life direction and purpose, without the restrictions of the 5-year plan.
#5 There will be times when you feel small. Insignificant. Like the things you do have no impact on the world. This. Is. False. You matter. The things you do and accomplishments that you achieve don’t always belong on social media, but that’s okay.
#6 Hold to your values and ideals. They will be your rock as you traverse the world, meet new people, and grow.
#7 Money does not equate to happiness. You know this. Pay your spiritual life insurance and you will always have a way to take care of yourself.
#8 You are never going to fit into “the” mold. You never did growing up, you won’t as a YSA, SA, or anywhere else. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. You are an individual. There is nobody like you. You were born to be a queen. Stand up, stand out.
#9 You learned the beauty of gratitude at an early age. Even mom will tell you in a few years. You always say thank you. You love to write notes of thanks. You find ways to pay it forward. Keep this up. The world needs people like you. Your family, community, ward, friends, work, everyone needs someone like you. But don’t get discouraged when you realize that not everyone reciprocates. They’re still learning.
#10 Without compromising your values and beliefs, say “yes” more. You’ll have so many opportunities coming your way, and you wouldn’t want to miss out on one just because you didn’t know what to do with it.
#11 Don’t be afraid to be different. You’re not going to be married and have 2.5 kids by the time you’re 25. You’re going to dress, travel, speak, and love differently than most everyone else. Trust me – people will respect you for that.
#12 Choose your friends wisely. Seek out those you have more in common with than just living close by. And only invest in those who invest in you. Don’t waste your time trying to be friends with everyone. Sadly there will be people who don’t like you. I know. Breathe.
#13 People are always watching you, so take care to be who you know you are. You will have the opportunity to influence others just by who you are and how you live your life.
#14 Your heart is your greatest asset. Your ability to feel empathy, love, compassion, and joy will help guide you and your life decisions, at home and abroad. Listen to your heart. But be careful. You feel pain and sorrow as strongly as love and joy.
You love your birthday: your favorite number is 6, you’re a history nerd and love that you were born on D-Day, and summer is the best season there is. Every year on this day, you’ll look back with wonder at all that you’ve accomplished.
I know a lot of this won’t make sense to you right now. But you already trust your instincts, so there’s a glimmer of hope that you’ll realize how awesome you are. It’s okay that you don’t have everything figured out right now. You won’t by the time you’re 35, but that’s okay. Nobody else really does (although they try to pretend they do – you see through the smoke and mirrors).
Continue to love. Grow. Learn. Serve. You’re going to travel around the world and have your eyes opened. Get ready. It’s going to be an awesome ride!
Love,
35 year-old Rachelle
