When we are young, one of the first life lessons we learn is how to make friends. Making friends came naturally to me. In kindergarten, I asked the new girl if she wanted to be my best friend…and now we’re 30 years down the line and still as close as can be.
But sometimes (well, most of the time) it can be a little more difficult to make new friends as we get older, especially when we find ourselves traveling solo. When we’re alone in a new location, thrust into the unknown, our natural tendencies are to retreat in the interest of self-preservation. We essentially close ourselves off to making new friends.
And that’s a shame.
I’ve traveled solo around the world. I’ve worked a customer service-related field for over 13 years. I’ve taken classes, seminars, attended lectures and trainings. I’ve put the skills into action to figure out what works and what doesn’t.
I’ve essentially had to relearn how to make friends in this technology-driven day and age.
Read below for my easy and practical tips on how to make friends when you travel solo!
Choose Your Lodging Carefully
If you want an easy way to learn how to make friends when you travel solo, you need to put yourself in a situation where you’re almost guaranteed success. Booking a bed in a hostel that has a social reputation is a surefire way to make it happen!
When you stay in a hostel, you’re almost always going to be surrounded by other solo travelers that are in the same situation as you. They might not know how to make friends, but recognize that a hostel is a great place to start!
A lot of social hostels are also situated close to city centers and major attractions, so there are often a plethora of new friends to meet! You never know – you might meet your new best friend in the bunk next to you!
Share a Cab/Uber/Lyft
When my friends and I were staying in a hostel in New Orleans, we were trying to figure out how to make our way to Bourbon Street. A guy in the hostel walked up to us and told us that he had just ordered a cab and asked if we wanted to share the ride, as he was also going to Bourbon Street.
Not only did we have a reduced cost of getting to our destination that evening, but we made a new friend…who also happened to be the hostel owner!
So if you’re wondering how to make friends and getting a cheaper ride somewhere, consider asking around your accommodation or current attraction if someone wants to share a ride with you. But PLEASE exercise caution – don’t just walk up to strangers and ask if they want to share a ride.
Attend a Local Event
I love attending local churches when I travel. When you sit alone in a congregation, no matter which denomination, you’re more likely to have someone sit next to you and ask you where you’re from, what brought you there, etc.
In my experience, people who attend houses of worship tend to be open, friendly, and genuinely interested in making others feel welcome. They know how to make friends, making it easier for a solo traveler!
When I was studying abroad in Germany, I attended a local church and quickly realized I stood out as an English-speaking American. People knew who I was and suddenly I found myself invited to have Sunday dinners, game nights, and outings with local families. And I experienced my first game of Apples to Apples with an extended family in Germany!
Offer Assistance
I took a solo trip to San Francisco back in 2016. I spent some time at Chrissy Field next to the bay, soaking in the views of Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge, the sun, and the fact that I scored free parking.
I noticed a girl about my age not too far away, clearly struggling to take a selfie with the Golden Gate Bridge. You know the look: arm outstretched, knees bent, slowly rotating and shrinking to get whatever was supposed to be in the background in the shot. I approached her and asked if she wanted me to take her picture.
BOOM! New friend.
I get it: approaching a stranger to offer assistance with taking a picture, asking for directions, joining in their conversation, etc. can be intimidating. It’s scary.
At first.
If you’re nervous and need to practice, head to a major attraction that has a lot of people. Look around and see who is struggling with a photo. Take a deep breath and take that first step.
“Would you like me to take your photo for you?” There. Use this line. The worst that will happen is the people you approached will say, “no thanks, we’re good,” or some variation. You’ll survive.
Wear or Carry an Identifier
Give people a reason to want to talk to you! In the picture above, I was on a solo trip to Krakow, Poland. I bought a pretzel necklace (which I’m sure all the locals do), which sparked some conversation with the members of my tour group. I didn’t really need to know how to make friends as a solo traveler – they approached me!
Not into wearing food? That’s okay – I’m usually not the food-wearing type, but was feeling it for some reason that day in Krakow.
Wearing an identifier is a quick way to find commonalities between strangers. It gives people a reason to talk to you. Some common identifiers include:
*Sporting team apparel
*T shirt with your favorite band
*Flags or patches on your backpack
*Unique jewelry or accessories
*Carry a copy of your favorite book – or have it visible
While wearing some of these items might not be the most fashionable option, they definitely become ice breakers.
Think about it – if you were traveling solo and came across someone wearing a t shirt with your favorite band’s logo, wouldn’t it be easy to approach them and ask what their favorite song was?
And once you start talking, it becomes easier to get to know them. Who knew that wearing a certain article of clothing could be the easiest way in learning how to make friends when you travel solo?
Be Approachable
If you’re not going to approach people and strike up a conversation, listen up! Body language is extremely powerful and sends signals out to people, influencing whether or not the’ll come up and talk to you. Think about it: would you rather approach someone who is looking around the room with a content look on their face, or someone frowning and scowling?
If you’re not a naturally open person who likes to smile and look people in the eye constantly, this might take some practice. So next time you’re sitting at a bus stop or train station, hanging out in the hostel common room, or sitting alone at a cafe, practice making it easy for people to approach you:
Make eye contact: Making eye contact with people triggers a release of oxytocin in the brain, creating a chemical bond. Plus, it’s much easier to approach someone that isn’t staring at the floor or walls.
Don’t cross your arms or legs: When we cross our arms and legs, they form an “X,” which is the unspoken universal sign for NO. Not crossing your limbs when you’re standing or sitting gives off the appearance that you’re relaxed, confident, and open to being approached.
Be polite: You never know who will overhear your interactions. By using polite words and phrases like “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me” can help go a long way for others wanting to come up to you.
And similarly, when you’re looking for someone to talk to, use the above metrics. Chances are, someone is just waiting to meet you!
Book a Tour
When you’re traveling solo to a new destination, kill two birds with one stone by booking a tour of some kind. Not only will you learn something about the new location, but you’ll be surrounded by people with a similar interest.
Many major cities offer a free walking tour, highlighting major points of interest while educating visitors on the city’s history and cultural trends. And even beyond that, many cities offer more cultivated tours with a specific theme.
(Click here to read about the different walking tours I took in Bucharest, Romania!)
I loved taking walking tours, but I think my preference is to take bike tours instead. Riding a bicycle with a group of people, laughing together, dodging cars and pedestrians, and the physical exertion creates a special bond. I’ve taken bike tours in Munich, Prague, and Krakow…and made some of the best friends. I highly recommend it!
Meeting new people when you travel solo can create some of the best memories. Some of my favorite travel memories involve meeting locals and other visitors, getting personal recommendations for delicious restaurants, and forming those spontaneous relationships with people from all over the world.
We have so many things in common with people we haven’t met yet, but sometimes we need a little help getting the conversation started. Do yourself a favor and use these tips to make friends when you travel solo!
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Did you find this article helpful? What strategies have you used to learn how to make friends when you travel solo? Or just how to make friends in general?
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