Experiences vs stuff. The never-ending debate goes on. Where do you stand? It’s time to pick a side. Let’s talk about why it’s more important, life-changing, memorable, dare I say…better…to spend money on experiences and not things.
The average person works hard every single day. Nose to the grind, you’re in it to get paid so you can pay bills, eat, live, and, hopefully, have some money leftover to use at your discretion. Some of you (well, us) have to work multiple jobs, side hustles, or gigs to make this a reality.
When you work this hard, you want to make sure that your expendable money is well spent, and not thrown down the drain. So, naturally, you spend it on what makes you happy. Brings you the most joy.
Right?
Or…not…
There have been multiple well-known studies done by professors at universities such as Cornell and the University of British Columbia, proving that the happiness or joy you feel when purchasing a new “thing” is fleeting and quick to fade. I agree with these findings and am here to tell you why you should spend money on experiences, and not things.
Before I move forward, I need to insert a little caveat. I’m not saying that you should stop buying things altogether. As humans, we need certain items or goods to stay alive. To do business. To live.
But when it comes to filling a void in our lives…
…to finding a way out of feelings of sadness or depression…
…to igniting a spark or zest for life post-2020…
…there are better options out there.
Things that can’t be taken away and whose value remains long after they occur!
Let’s dive into it.
Why You Should Spend Money on Experiences, Not Stuff
I want you to think about the last thing you purchased for yourself. An article of clothing. A new pair of shoes. The latest gaming system. Trinket.
Now, how long ago did you purchase that item?
Are you still as excited to use/wear it as you were the first time?
Probably not.
Contradict me, if you honestly can.
Doesn’t it seem weird that the tangible item we can see, touch, smell, use whenever we want…can’t provide us with the best value of happiness?
Tangible Depreciation
Yeah, I know this heading is a flex, but hear me out.
The reality is that the happiness we associate with purchasing new things fades quickly. The happiness the tangible items provides begins to depreciate almost as quickly as a new car that drives off of a dealership’s lot does.
We adapt to the new item, and it becomes part of our everyday norm.
We buy into the advertised belief that our happiness will last as long as the thing does.
I remember when I was in my late teen years, I saved a lot of money (maybe $500?) to buy my very own “big screen” TV with a built-in DVD player. This thing was huge, heavy, beautiful, and all mine. I remember the struggle I had carrying it up the stairs in our house, and triumphantly setting it up on my dresser. Finally, I was able to watch TV in my bedroom.
After about a week, I didn’t even think about the novelty anymore. It was just a TV in my room. It became part of my routine. It wasn’t as exciting as it once was.
Although the TV was only a week old, the novelty value that I had originally assigned to it had depreciated. I got used to it. This was one of the first times I understood the wisdom of being able to spend money on experiences, rather than things.
Bigger and Better
There’s a game I learned to play as a teenager and have since played it with other youth groups, called BIGGER OR BETTER. The object of the game is quite simple – to end up with the biggest or best thing.
To play the game, the group is split up into smaller groups, however many are wanted. Each group starts in a section of a neighborhood and is given a penny. One penny per group.
The groups then go door-to-door, asking the homeowners if they have something “bigger or better” that they can swap out for the penny. They make the swap, go to the next house, and ask if those homeowners have something bigger or better than whatever the previous house gave them.
It was always interesting to see what the groups ended up with: an old spa cover, a treadmill, an empty fish tank, a lawn aerator, and a patio furniture set were the memorable ones.
I love this game because it’s all about perspective. What we deem bigger or better is completely individual. And while you can’t really find anything to buy with a penny, it’s another reminder to spend money on experiences since they don’t have to cost a lot of money.
But as Apple has advertised, there’s always something bigger and better on the horizon – the latest cell phone, gadget, car, seasonal fashion, etc.
Once we get used to the things that we purchase for ourselves, we inadvertently raise our expectations. Sure – it was now the norm that I had a TV in my bedroom as a late teen. That became the expectation when I moved out to my own place: I needed a TV in my room.
As soon as we get used to the latest thing we bought, we start looking for the next.
Keeping up with the Joneses
First of all, my condolences to everyone named Jones that is decent, hard-working, and has to bear the brunt of this colloquialism. I know a few and would never throw them into this example.
Succinctly put, the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” refers to the desire to have everything friends, neighbors, and acquaintances have, in an effort to display wealth and prosperity. These items are purchased for display, rather than because the items are actually desired.
A great example is demonstrated in the Jim Carey version of “How the Grinch Stole Christmas.” There are 2 women in Whoville: 1 always has a beautifully decorated house for Christmas with the latest and greatest gadgets. The other woman is shown throughout the film, constantly trying to get her house to look as good as the first.
Possessions foster comparisons. When we buy something new to us, we love it until someone else buys a better one, then start looking for an even better better one. No, that’s not a typo.
We’ll always be on the lookout for the next best thing, based on what other people around us have, and hope that it brings us happiness. But that’s not always the case.
Experiences are Powerful
No matter how fleeting the experiences may be, the feelings they invoke last longer than any tangible item is able to.
Why is that?
There is wisdom in the idea to spend money on experiences, as they give us back so much more than any item ever will.
Experiences shape our identity
Despite what middle and high schoolers might think, we are not our possessions. Our identity is comprised of our experiences, things we’ve done, seen, and where we’ve been.
Part of my identity has to do with solo female travel. It’s part of who I am because I venture out on my own to the far corners of the globe. I’m known for buying a plane ticket and going to an island by myself, and not for the type of car I drive.
Think about how many stories you hear about life-changing events.
Events, not stuff.
Experiences, not possessions.
I learned to spend money on experiences because I understood the role they play(ed) in my life.
The anticipation that builds is intoxicating
When I plan my adventures and get ready for experiences, I’m excited from the get-go. From the very first moment I decide to have an experience, whether at home or abroad, I get excited.
And that excitement builds through all stages: planning, executing, and sharing. The anticipation can help lengthen an experience, keeping the emotions going longer than originally thought. It’s a positive emotion.
On the flip-side, the anticipation that precedes obtaining an item manifests as impatience.
Comparisons aren’t really a thing
Experiences are a lot harder to compare than items. You can look at your friend and see what’s in their hands, and then go buy that same exact thing. And the only thing you’ve accomplished is proving that “keeping up with the Joneses” is still alive and well.
It’s much harder to compare your life-changing experience with someone else’s. And it doesn’t matter. Experiences are difficult to quantify and determine measurable metrics. Unless you live in Bhutan, you can’t measure your happiness from an experience.
The paradox of time
When you look back at the experiences that you’ve had that have meant the most to you…how long did they last? The experiences that shaped you or a part of your personality…did they last as long as you’ve had your car? Or another item that you bought yourself?
I look back to the times I spent swapping stories with other travelers and learning from them; the times I spent sleeping in a car on a tropical island; the moments I’ve had to duck under a building out of the rain with a complete stranger, only to have bonded instantly.
A lot of those moments were short-lived, fleeting, but left a lasting impression.
And if they weren’t good experiences, at least they were over quickly, right? Well, what about that impulse buy item that sits on your dresser every day, reminding you of the mistake you made in purchasing it?
That rarely *if ever* happens with experiences.
The fact that we know some experiences won’t last long influences how we act. The fact that our experiences only last for a short time is part of what makes them so valuable. We know we don’t have long, so we tend to pay more attention and put more of ourselves into these experiences, which only appreciate in value over time…as opposed to the depreciation of stuff I mentioned earlier.
The bottom line…
It’s really up to you how you want to spend your money. If you truly find joy in purchasing the latest gadget, live your dream.
But the benefits of having experiences, both at home or abroad, have been proven to be long-lasting and life-changing. Experiences cannot be taken away from you, and from personal experience, they’re more precious to pass on to others.
Why do you think you should spend money on experiences? Or is it a wash?
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