Recently I was chatting with a close friend about an upcoming solo trip to Boston. I was expressing a lot of excitement and anticipation about the trip, noting how long it had been since my last true solo trip (read: longer than 2 days…I’m looking at YOU, Monument Valley), and how I was feeling burned out with work and life’s responsibilities. My friend smiled at me and said some of the most profound words: “I figured it out. You recharge when you go on a long solo trip.”
Even though I probably already knew that on some level, it was great to hear someone else actually vocalize what the voice in my head had been telling me. And since that “revelation,” I’ve dedicated quite a bit of time contemplating why I prefer solo travel and how it helps me recharge.
I get it: not everyone has the ability or desire to travel solo. I’ve talked to so many friends, family members, acquaintances and even strangers about traveling solo, and I’m still amazed at their mixed reactions when I disclosed any past/upcoming solo adventures.
My first true solo travel adventure was to Poland, right before starting a study abroad program in Kiel, Germany…talk about baptism by fire! I didn’t know any Polish, didn’t think to download any offline maps of Krakow, or even figure out how to get from the concentration camps back to my hostel.
I can still look back and realize I had the best experience I could have asked for, but not everyone would have thrived as I did, or even survive. It can be stressful to travel solo. It can be expensive if you’re not careful, especially if you don’t have anyone to split the bills with.
I have one of the greatest road-tripping partners in the world; someone who is always down for an adventure and loves photography. I love getting into the car with her and welcoming our next destination with open arms, but even she knows why I prefer solo travel over anything else. She gets it. My close friends understand. Allow me to help you, dear reader, understand (not necessarily agree with) why I prefer solo travel.
Time
Do you know how difficult it is to get more than 2 people out of the door in the morning? Unless you find someone who shares the same travel philosophy or patterns as you, get ready to run from place to place without getting to experience it to the depth that you want.
Traveling with college roommates? Forget it. I had a roommate that never woke up before 10am. I love getting an early start to the day, but that’s not always the case when traveling with pretty much anyone else.
I’ve found that whenever I travel with a group larger than 2 people, we always just did the bare minimum to experience something. Going through a museum? Quickly hit all the highlights because someone is hungry and we need to hurry.
I recently returned from a solo trip to Boston. Since I was flying solo, I was able to take the time to go back to a few places I’d see on the Freedom Trail. I visited the buildings, took the little tours that were offered, and allowed myself to be more fully immersed in where I was.
When I was in Munich in 2014, I went on a bike tour and decided to revisit some sites after the tour was over. I know that if I had been with anyone else during these trips, I wouldn’t have been able to return and spend more time soaking it all in.
Pleasing a Group is Difficult
Do I really need to explain this one? No, but I will.
If you’re traveling with more than one other person besides yourself, may I offer this bit of advice: figure out where you’re going to eat your meals before you get to the city/country. I once took 4 (former) friends to San Francisco for a birthday trip. Getting anywhere was a bit of a struggle, but when it came time for lunch and dinner…just…wow.
Nobody could agree on anything, so as the driver, I ended up picking every location. That might seem like an ideal situation, but when you couple that with the subtle and not-so-subtle comments/complaints about where we were…it just wears on you.
You’re never going to find a place to visit, restaurant to eat at, activity to embark on that pleases everyone in the group the same. Accept that and act accordingly. And make a note for further travel planning.
Flexibility
There’s nothing pleasant about having something go awry when traveling: missing a train, getting lost on the backroads, not feeling well, attractions closed, the list can go on and on.
Whenever I’ve traveled with a group of people, inevitably you’ll hear those words that just make me cringe:
“Now What?”
Ugh. It’s unavoidable…someone is going to ask the question and expect others to find a solution. I’m often the fixer and the burden falls on my shoulders to figure out our next move. Allow me to share a few stories of why I prefer solo travel when plans don’t always go as hoped.
Scenario #1:
When I was in Germany in 2014, I found out that my German professor-turned-amazingly-close-friend was going to be in the area, so we decided to meet up for a day in Frankfurt and visit the local LDS temple. I was fortunate enough to have a German Rail Pass which allowed me to make the trip for free, which turned out to be a blessing in disguise.
I looked online and found the direct train that would take me from Kiel to Frankfurt in about 4.5 hours, booked my hostel (in what turned out to be the red-light district…oops!), and caught the bus to the Hauptbahnhof (main train station).
While sitting in the station, I could hear the voice on the intercom announcing something about my train. Apparently that particular train would be originating from Neumünster, the next station down.
Dang it!
I can just hear the chorus of “what-do-we-do” and “maybe-we-shouldn’t-go” from the imaginary group.
Fortunately I had taken the time to familiarize myself with the German rail system DeutschBahn and knew that I could make it to Frankfurt another way.
4 trains and 7.5 hours later, I arrived.
No problem.
Scenario #2:
I traveled to St. Thomas in 2015 for a destination wedding. I was scheduled to take a red-eye out of Salt Lake City, have a 2 hour layover in JFK, and land at Charlotte Amalie airport on St. Thomas the following day.
Well, the flight out of Salt Lake City was delayed, I missed the connection in JFK, took a flight to Puerto Rico, and then got stranded overnight because Delta dropped the ball.
I had a carry-on bag and suitcase that I had to check…and had no idea where either of them were.
Not only was I stranded in Puerto Rico without luggage, my phone didn’t work and I had cankles from running around the airports and being stressed.
I was barely holding it together, and while having a travel companion to comfort me sounds like it would have been ideal, I was so grateful that I prefer solo travel and didn’t have to worry about anyone else’s well-being.
I Get to be Selfish
As horrible as this last point sounds, it’s probably the main reason why I’m able to recharge. I prefer solo travel because for a brief moment in time, I get to be selfish.
I’ve been working in a customer service-related role in one form or another since 2006. Today, my job mainly consists of fixing problems, reacting to issues, and allowing people to vent their frustrations.
When I travel solo, I don’t have to think about anyone else…which makes me sound heartless. I’m not a jerk when I travel solo and I’m a decent human being.
What I mean is that I get to go wherever I want, experience what is on MY bucket list, and only share if I want to. Sounds really immature, but it’s the truth. This doesn’t happen all that often, so I take full advantage when I get to.
Have you traveled solo before? Would you want to try it? Why do you travel solo?
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